Drafting Lab

I finished a first draft of my introductory paragraph.  Please check it out below--

Thesis:

I am determined, competitive, and innovative.

Introduction:

So often, people are critical and hard on themselves.  This stems from our upbringing and our personalities, but this defeatist self-talk doesn’t have to bring us down.  That inner critic, the one who says, “You’re not good enough,” or “You’re bad at this,” is a part of all of our daily lives.  One thing is important though—we don’t have to listen.  It’s positive to look honestly at ourselves, but we should be honest about our good qualities, too.  In my case, I am sure that I am determined, competitive, and innovative, and that will lead to future success.

Body Paragraph 1

Determination is something I know will lead to future success, and it is one of my best strengths.